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Trusting the Process

About two months ago I decided I wanted to be a Sourdough Girlie (that term refers to the thousands of millennial women who have suddenly mastered the art of sourdough and post their aesthetically-pleasing baking videos on TikTok). My journey has been far less pleasant, calming, or successful than the aforementioned Sourdough Girlies'. I had the idea that if I could bake my own sourdough bread--which is gut-friendly and much healthier than yeast bread--from nothing, I could do literally anything!


My first and second starters did not rise. My third starter developed mold. My fourth starter was totally fine but I talked myself into thinking it died and prematurely threw it away. I was so intimidated and overwhelmed by the fifth starter that I took care of him for 4 weeks prior to baking, even though he was probably ready to go at least a week ago (his name is Freddy, he is alive, and he is the only male allowed in our female-dominated household).

Finally passed the float test!

Today, I decided, would be the day Freddy was finally put to work! He was looking bubbly and happy, and finally passed the float test. I managed to get flour in absolutely every crevice of the kitchen, nearly had a meltdown when I couldn't get the wet dough off of my hands in a timely manner, rushed the bulk fermentation, and did not have the proper tool for scoring. All that said, eight hours after the decision was made to finally take a chance on Freddy, we had TWO edible loaves of sourdough bread in front of us!

These loaves are lightyears away from perfect. They are too dense, the scoring is atrocious, and one didn't rise as much as I'd like. But they were yummy, warm, fresh, and it does feel excellent to say that I created them all on my own from nothing!


I felt so proud of my lackluster sourdough loaves and ate half of one for dinner. I think the key takeaway is that it's always important to trust the process. Despite searching for instant gratification, I just had to wait it out. Freddy 5.0 looked weak for several days in that chunk of time, but I just kept feeding and nurturing him, and he bounced back. Trust the process.


I believe this worldview can be applied to so many different things in life. Most notably, I remind myself to trust the process when it comes to developing a healthier lifestyle. I have been consistently prioritizing my physical health for about four months now. Initially, I lost weight quickly which was very rewarding. Over the past month, my weight has been stagnant. I've been working on hybrid training (running and weightlifting), and recently I did my first "long run" (25 minutes of consecutive running). I approached it thinking that I've been training for five weeks so undoubtedly it would be easy and a true reflection of my hard work.


Friends, this was very much not the case. I struggled. I ended up walking for 5 minutes before picking the pace back up. I felt defeated and like my hard work has been for nothing. But taking a step back, once again, I remembered it is all a process. Improving fitness will not happen overnight. There will be progress and setbacks. Some days or weeks will feel sluggish and unproductive. It's all okay.

This is my weight loss chart and it is my constant reminder of trusting the process.

Trusting the process has never failed me. I trust the process and evolution of my romantic relationship--that it will have struggles but ultimately there will be more growth and love. I trust the process of friendship--that moving away doesn't mean goodbye forever but we do all grow up and friendship dynamics inevitably change. Even on the difficult days, I'm choosing to trust the process with my career--that the trajectory might have some road blocks or detours but ultimately, as long as I'm working hard, things will work out. It's frequent for the process to feel slow and in some ways, overwhelming. But it's there for a reason. Good things take time. Positive changes are more challenging to make than negative ones. Most importantly, trusting the process throughout the past several months has allowed me to break the debilitating "all or nothing" mentality. It still takes work every day, but generally, that has been the most significant mental shift in my life.


I hope you all have a really good, kind week.


I'm off to eat an excessive amount of bread. ;)

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Hi, thanks for stopping by!

I'm Ashley, Audiologist by day, cookie-connoisseur by night. 

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